Blessings in Disguise

I have to admit that May this year has not been my favorite month.  It might actually be one of the worst months I've had, but I think as I reflect back on it, I'll find that a lot of good came out of this month, too.

Brandon ruptured his Achilles tendon in April.  There was a partial tear at the beginning of the month and just as we thought he was getting better, it finished tearing a few weeks later. So after a week of checking with doctors and verifying that yes his foot does not move and bend the way it should, we scheduled the surgery for May 2.  Most of the hassle was finding the right medical facility that accepted our insurance. I'm just grateful we got the insurance when we did so that we don't have to stress as much on the financial side of surgery.  Don't get me wrong, there's still stress in that area, it's just lessened some. :)

Surgery day came and I'd like to think I didn't look as freaked out and worried as I was. But I had something happy to look out at while I waited. I think it helped some. All hospitals should have happy flowers for friends and family of patients to look at.

This was Brandon's first major surgery.  The only other thing he's had even remotely like this was getting his wisdom teeth out.  He has a very strange reaction to the drugs they give people about to have surgery (he did this with the wisdom teeth too): he talked incessantly. Now I know that doesn't sound much different from how he is normally but believe me, there was a difference.  There's a filter in your brain between the things you're thinking and the things you say.  His filter was gone.  Afterward, he remembers thinking about a story but didn't realize he told the nurses the story while they were trying to get him ready.  I remember him trying to talk with the nurse and anesthesiologist  while they were giving him the nerve block in his leg.  It was pretty funny listening to him.  The nurses thought he was very entertaining.  His mom told me the story of when he got his wisdom teeth out, the same thing happened there, too.  The only problem is that it's kinda hard to talk (and you really shouldn't) after doing surgery IN YOUR MOUTH.  Did that stop him? Nope. Not one bit.  I think it's cute...and just a little silly. 

So the surgery went well and he came home drugged up and in a cast. We had some really great friends watching Kayla for us while we were at the hospital and they dropped her off when we were done.  She was really sweet with Brandon.  I think she understood that he had a hurt foot and was really tired. So she came up on bed with him and just sat there with him and played on her Kindle.

  
Sometimes Kayla really surprises me with her intuitiveness and empathetic nature.  This wasn't the first time she's done something like this.  I've noticed that when we're out, she likes to tell us the emotional state of all the kids (and sometimes adults) that she notices. I love that about her.

So Brandon had to be in the cast, using crutches to get around, but mostly keeping it elevated for 2 weeks.  He couldn't watch Kayla during this time since it was so hard for him to get around, so I had to find friends who could watch her.  And did my friends rally! I saw such an outpouring of love and generosity from them, I'm still feeling touched weeks later.

There were so many moments of service and love, I can't possibly go into detail of all of them, but I'll relate a couple experiences that really stood out to me. The first was the Sunday right after the surgery.  That night, our friend (who happens to be the Bishop in our Ward) came over to visit with us and see how everything went with the surgery.  Before he left, he asked if we would like to take the Sacrament, a very special ordinance we weren't able to get that day because we stayed home from church. I was truly touched; I hadn't expected that offer from him. We were at church the week before and took the Sacrament, so he didn't offer because we hadn't had it in a while. But it was something we missed and I'm grateful he took the time to give us that ordinance at home.  Sometimes we take advantage of the things we do every week or everyday.  Sometimes the repetition makes us lose sight of the significance or importance of the action.   I'm grateful to get a reminder now and again that the daily or weekly rituals are important and essential for my well-being. 

The other amazing thing that happened during this time was a service project at our house. Specifically, our back yard.  At the beginning of the year, we decided to put a garden in our backyard.  We made a list of things we wanted to plant and what we needed to get the soil ready.  In the spring, it was tilled and plans were made for where specific plants would grow best.  But after the injury we knew we'd have to cut back on those plans, but we still wanted a garden.  Everything was set up, we just needed to decide which plants to get.  We kept it simple.  We've got green peas, carrots, onions, and lettuce.  What really helped was a neighbor who doesn't have a yard wanted a garden so we're sharing our large space with him, too.  The amazing thing was that after the surgery, a bunch of our friends and neighbors came over and weeded our garden and the jungle that has become the back fence area.  They also created what Brandon has lovingly called "Strawberry Hill." It's pretty awesome.  One of our friends bought strawberries for us and planted them on our hill.  She also gave us starts for cucumbers and a pumpkin.  We have the best friends ever! It's so much easier to work outside when there are friends to help and other kids to play with your kid so you aren't constantly needing to watch them.  We had so much fun that night! And Brandon was there supervising everything. I know it made him so happy and grateful to everyone that took time out of their busy lives to come help us.

I found this video as I was trying to find a picture of the garden (couldn't find one so that'll be on another post).  Kayla loves her princess dress that Brandon's aunt gave her for Christmas.  At the time, it was too long for her to walk in.  So I decided to try it on her again to see how it fit.  As you can see, it fits and she's been calling herself a princess. I love it!

So those first two weeks were kind of stressful, and I'm very happy that they're over. But looking back, a lot of good things have happened during that time, too.  I'm glad I'm thinking back and writing this blog.  It helps me forget all the stressful things that happened and helps me remember the good things in life.

Things got a lot better at home once Brandon got his boot on.  He still has a hard time getting around but he doesn't have to go around on crutches anymore. It doesn't take him several trips just to get a plate of food and a drink. Yay!

And just because I can, I'm throwing in a video that I think is very pertinent to what I've been talking about in this post: the ability (or lack) of walking and getting around the house.  Kayla came up with this all on her own and the whole time she was doing this I imagined C.S.Lewis watching his kids play and maybe that's how he came up with some of his fantastical creatures.

This video also makes me realize how big my feet are...

Since we couldn't go up to Idaho to visit family, they decided to come down to visit us for Memorial weekend. We had a lot of fun together (per the norm) and we tried to cram as much fun in as we could in 3 days.  Saturday Lonnie and I got mani-pedies (a much needed relaxing activity) at a place really close to home for a reasonable price.  Always a nice discovery.  Though I don't think I'll ever get a manicure again unless it's for a very special event.  The paint started chipping within hours of getting it done.  At first I was upset with the nail place, but then I realized that it was going to happen regardless.  I have a very active kid.  I have a home that is in constant need of cleaning. I also have a family that needs feeding.  It's really impractical to go around NOT doing anything with your hands just because there's some paint on it.  The nice thing that came out of it was that Kayla saw my painted nails and wanted hers done, too.  She's such a girly girl and I love it! Now I need to go out and buy more nail polish...

  

In addition to the amazing paint job I did on Kayla's fingers, you can also see here the awesome goatee Brandon's been growing since he first got the injury in April. Very impressive, Brandon! I've also been surprised at how much it doesn't bother me.  I honestly thought it would, but once it got to the soft stage (after the prickly stage which was thankfully short), I haven't had much of a problem with it. Learning something new all the time.

Recently, Brandon has found a website about cooking and grilling that he has become fascinated with.  It goes into the detailed science of the particular thing the guy is cooking. Brandon's learned a lot of interesting things, and we've experimented on some of his findings. Like boiled eggs.  We now know exactly what to do if we want a hard boiled egg to come off the shell easy and without the giant hole at the base. We also know how to make steak pinwheels. A really yummy one with scallions, ginger, and teriyaki sauce. We tried it out for the first time during Memorial weekend, and I think it will become a new grilling favorite during the summer.

And there you have it! So yummy! That extra piece on the side wasn't big enough to roll up so they cooked it flat...and it wasn't as juicy and tender as the pinwheel...a very interesting discovery. 

As these two cuties are getting older, they're having more fun together.  It also requires a little less monitoring on the mommy's part each time they play together.  We don't have to worry as much about hair pulling and tackles.  They're having conversations with each other,  "cooking" together, and generally being the two most adorable playmates ever!

The most exciting part about Memorial weekend was Memorial Day.  We met up with Lonnie's sister and went to Hogle Zoo together. It was hot, and Brandon was having a harder time getting around (thank you Hogle Zoo for having so many places to sit down at almost every exhibit), but we sure had fun.  There were new things to see and Kayla wanted to see it all.

They had a new lion exhibit and I loved that they placed the observation glass in a place that all of us (including the lions) could be out of the sun.  She loved the elephants and the seals.  She had a lot of fun in the splash pad.  But I think her absolute favorite place was the carousel. 

We have friends that have a zoo pass and we've already scheduled a time to go back.  We can't wait.  We have lots of fun plans for this summer.  Hopefully Brandon will keep getting better so he can keep up with Kayla!

Reflecting back on this last month or so, I've seen the Divine Hand in my life blessing my family. I have seen Him work through others to bless my family. I am humbled when I accept help from others.  And I am humbled when I have to ask for help.  I hate doing it all the time, and this period has really taxed me in that area.  I hope I can someday repay the kindness that was shown to me and my family.  Lately I keep coming back to a scripture I read when I was pregnant with Kayla and was worried about how to be a good mother and raising this child that God has entrusted me with. It's in the Book of Mormon, Alma 34:3 

And as ye have desired of my beloved brother that he should make known unto you what ye should do, because of your afflictions; and he hath spoken somewhat unto you to prepare your minds; yea, and he hath exhorted you unto faith and to patience—

Faith and Patience. Those have been the two things I've felt like I really need to learn.  And just when I think I've got it figured out, something happens and I have to start again the learning process.  This has been really good for me. I know I've become a better person since that day 3 years ago.  I've come to put my trust in the Lord, and I know He will take care of me.  If I keep doing the things He would want me to do, everything I've been worrying about will work themselves out. It scares me, but I can have the faith that's needed to get through the trials in my life.  And I don't have to go through it alone. I have my amazing husband who is the best spouse anyone could ask for. I have my sweet little girl who is sometimes the cause of my trials but is such a blessing to me. I have close friends and family. I have seen and felt their love. And I have my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and my Father in Heaven. I have felt Their love. I am never alone, and that brings me the greatest joy. I am truly blessed.

End of Summer, But the Fun Doesn't Stop

The end of August was a whirlwind of activity, I'm not quite sure if we got a chance to breathe or not. Besides all the craziness Brandon usually does for film, he also wanted to host a neighborhood BBQ on the 31st. He didn't just want to do a lunch or dinner BBQ, oh no, he wanted to do BOTH! A friend from the ward provided the meat for dinner and we did hamburgers and hotdogs for lunch. It turned into an all-day event.  The turn-out was good and we had a lot of fun times.  But the craziness didn't stop there.  Brandon had the crazy idea to set up Rock Band in the back yard so we could play when the sun went down.  We had a surprising number of people stay so they could do that.  I'm glad it turned out, but I'm sorry for all the neighbors who wanted sleep that night...I had fun, but I'm glad it's over (until next time).

On top of all that planning for the BBQ, I was planning with Katherine for our annual HoBo birthday party for the twins (Kayla and Amy) the next day (Sept 1).  We decided to do lasagna and french bread and have family bring side dishes.  I think it turned out really yummy.  I was so full I almost didn't have room for the amazing cake Katherine and I made! It was Katherine's idea to do a flower, and we both thought doing cupcakes would work really well. I think it turned out fantastic!

Katherine bought the dresses so they could match. So cute!

If you want to see more super cute pictures, Katherine put some up on Facebook. I just love these girls so much!

Yesterday was Labor Day, so Brandon and I were both off work.  We decided to go to his grandparent's place and swim in their pool. Once she got used to the water, she had a lot of fun playing in it.  Eventually I'm going to teach her how to swim; then she'll be our little fish.

Grandma and Grandpa had some friends over, and they brought their new puppy.  She was so friendly! She came right up to us and started sniffing and licking us. (The licking may be due to the salt water from the pool).  Kayla instantly fell in love with her.

In addition to this crazy, fun weekend, Brandon got a new calling in our Ward.  He's the new Elder's Quorum President. It's the same calling that gave Brandon's dad his peppery hair.  I think it's a very selfless calling.  Brandon will be fantastic.  I think it's going to give us a lot of opportunities to serve and love our neighbors more.  Brandon's charitable nature has already blessed our family, and I think this will open up the windows of Heaven and bless our lives even more. 

Give Thanks

Yes, it's a couple days past Thanksgiving and people are probably already have all the Fall stuff down and the Christmas decorations up (I did that today), but I can still post a blog about my favorite holiday: Thanksgiving.

It all started with my childhood.  Every year, without fail, Thanksgiving was spent with our family friends, the Bobo's.  One year we'd go to their house (wherever in the country that happened to be) and the next they'd come to ours (always in Aiken, SC).  We'd have our Graham-Bobo family line up which started in age, oldest to youngest, and then as we got older we added a line based on height.  Phil, the youngest in the Bobo family, ended up the tallest boy, and I, the youngest in the Graham family, ended up as the tallest girl.  Funny how that happened.  Anyway, when we were pretty young, we also used to do a pyramid. Description for those who don't know: biggest kids on their hands and knees on the ground with smaller kids on top of them in the same position in the shape of a triangle till we got one kid at the top which was usually me.  We have many photo albums of these lines and pyramids throughout the years and it's fun to see how much we've all changed and grown.  On Thanksgiving day we'd have a ton of yummy yummy food.  The next day we'd have leftovers, go to a movie, and eat pizza.  When the family who was visiting had to leave to drive back home, one of us would try to stow away in their car (which never worked! observant parents!) and the rest would run after the van as they drove away.  That's pretty much how it happened every year.  The oldest kids would drop out of the line as they left for school, went on missions, or got married, but we would still get together with them until practically all of us were out of the house.  Those were really fun times.  Sometimes I feel like I know the Bobo's better than my actual blood-family.  

Now, as we all have our own families we still try to find ways to get together with the Bobo's.  A lot of us ended up in Utah so that makes it a lot easier to get together.  My best friend growing up, Katherine, ended up marrying Phil, so that made it even easier to get together.  This year we had Thanksgiving with the Bobo's again.  We went to Katherine and Phil's house; another Bobo sibling was there along with two of my siblings.  We had excellent food and wonderful company.  It was like old times.  We even thought one of the young boys had stowed away in another family's van, which ended up not being true, but it brought back good memories anyway.  Phil made a comment about how he thinks our kids won't find out that none of us are actually related until they're like 14 which I thought was funny and really true.  We act like family even though we aren't blood related.  And I guess that's the point I'm trying to make with all of my rambling.  You can treat anyone like family, especially on Thanksgiving.  It's the time to come together to remember all that we're thankful for, eat good food, and enjoy the company.

Another reason why Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays is that this was the holiday 6 years ago that gave me the excuse to visit Brandon in Colorado while I was going to BYU.  We had met that previous August and I wanted to see him again.  Somehow it worked out that I would go out there along with one of Brandon's old missionary companions, and we'd stay for the weekend.  I'd really never done anything like that before, but I'm so grateful I did.  I'm also extremely grateful for Brandon's mom and dad who were willing to open their home to two almost complete strangers and feed them.  They're amazing.  That year, I also heard that they extended an invitation to all the single adults in their Ward who didn't have a place to go to their home for Thanksgiving dinner.  How wonderful is that!  I think that's a perfect example of their charity.  Brandon definitely learned how to serve with love from his parents. 

I'm thankful for this holiday so I can think of all that I'm thankful for.  So I want to give a big "Thanks!" to the following people:

• Everyone who've watched Kayla for us while we had to work or go on a date
• Craig Peterson and Phil Burnett for helping us get this wonderful home we now live in
• Mom who helped cover our tickets for going out to SC for her wedding
• Mike Graddy who is making my mother so happy and a lot less lonely
• Brandon's mom and dad for being so patient as they wait for opportunities to see their only grandchild (and for helping us improve our new home, you've done so much already)
• Katherine for hosting Thanksgiving dinner this year 
• Kayla for being so adorable even when she's sad
• Brandon for being the most amazing husband 

I could go on and on, but this blog post is getting long enough.  But I do have to add one more to the list: my Heavenly Father and my Savior, Jesus Christ, for creating this beautiful world that we live in; for giving us a Plan so we can live with Them and our loved ones again; for loving us even when we don't feel like we deserve it.  I Thank Them with all my heart.

So enough of my ranting and on to the pictures.  Clark, Lonnie, and MaKena stayed at our house for a few days, and I promised Mom pictures of the kids together.

Brandon wanted to show Clark our backyard, so they bundled up the kids and went out.  Can you see the family resemblance? :)

MaKena and Kayla

They look so different in sizes right now, but they're only 8 months apart.  As they get older I'm sure they'll become the best of friends (if we stay close enough to visit).

That face is so classically Graham.  She looks so much like Clark with those adorable ears!  And Kayla looks a lot like me.  I'm thinking the Graham genes are pretty dominant! More kids will tell! 

I think this is the closest we were able to get the kids together.  That's a good thing right now because they'll just hurt themselves otherwise. 

It was so much fun having them at our home to relax and play games.  We will be planning more of these as much as we can.  I love our family.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!  Make sure to give thanks to those you're thankful for!

Service and Fun

One of the things I admire about Brandon is his selfless love for others.  This usually translates into doing a lot of service for others, even random strangers.  He'll help someone move their broken down car to the side of the road, wake up early on a Saturday morning to help a family move, or even chase down some dogs that ran loose from their master.  This last bit of service introduced us to our neighbor, Anna.  Brandon got to talking to her, and we found out that she's from Brazil (Rio to be specific), she's waiting for her green card to come in while her husband works in California to keep the steady income they need for that whole process.  Later we find out that their landlord here was kicking them out earlier than they expected and they hadn't found an apartment yet to move to.  Practically without hesitation, Brandon offered our back yard to her two dogs, our garage as a storage unit for her stuff, and our spare bedroom to Anna while she looks for a dog-friendly place to live (and that's a hard thing to find in this area!).  They were really grateful and eventually accepted his offer.

So last week Anna stayed with us.  We weren't sure how long she'd be here; she said a month at the most, but it only ended up being about a week.  She used to work in California and Seattle as an au pair with two different sets of twins, so she knows babies, and she fell in love with Kayla.  No surprise there!  Kayla makes it really easy to love her.  She told us the day after she moved in that Brandon and I should go on a date and she's watch Kayla for us.  So we took her up on her offer and went on the first date in a very long time without Kayla.  We went to lunch and then the movie "Wreck it Ralph" which was a lot of fun (the date and the movie).

During the week, she took Kayla to the park while Brandon and I were at work.  They both loved it.  Anna took her camera and took some amazing pictures.  Here's a sample of a few of my favorites.

 You can see a little in that middle picture Kayla's top front two teeth coming in. so cute!  Anna's an amazing photographer!  It was so much fun having her here and telling me of her experiences of taking care of twins.  She's an amazing woman.  

She found an apartment in Provo at the foothills of the mountain.  It's got an amazing view, but quite a steep hill to drive up!  We moved her in on Saturday with the help of some fabulous men in our Ward. 

So thank you men for helping a total stranger.

Thank you Anna for being so amazing with Kayla and a friend to me.

And thank you Brandon for being so charitable to bring someone into our lives that ended up benefiting everyone. I love you.